On Having Children

It is so natural that friends start asking when we are going to have our own kids after we got married. And normally, I do not know how to answer. In fact, I am torn when it comes to having our own children. There are times when I'm broody. That would come when I see a cute baby in a stroller, a family of four taking dinner together, or a little boy playing soccer with his dad. That was the time my maternal instinct came so strong that I would feel a surge of longing for our own kid.

But there are a lot more times where I dont want children. When they are screaming, yelling, crying and fretting for goodness-knows-what. I got annoyed very easily by that. See, for me, I dont know what to do with kids. I dont have a single idea how to make them occupied or make them laugh. I would just look at them and go " Err.. what do you want me to do?" My husband's great with kids. He knows how to play with them and make them laugh. He knows how to communicate with them even though he doesnt have any clue of the baby talk. He is good in using different approaches to discipline the kids.

Having said that, I am not totally resist from having children. Knowing that there are a lot of couples hunger for their own kids but unable to have. In the contrary, there are much people who play a fool and ended up with the 'unwanted' kids. I would be grateful to have our own kids. But as for now, due to much uncertainties that we are facing, I guess it's not the right timing yet. However, we would happily accept whatever that comes knowing that there is nothing which is out of control.